Dear mum, you'll always be the most important person in my heart. Even though I wake up everyday but I don't see you around me and even though you won't be beside when I needed you the most, but I know you will be there for me as much as you could. Even if I really encountered problems, I wouldn't bear to bother you because I know how busy you are already and I would most probably try to solve it myself instead. Sorry for keeping most of my problems to myself but I don't want you to worry and I just want you to know I'm fine. Although I always say how much I want to leave this house, actually I don't. I just need to understand more about them, but it's really difficult. Mum, sometimes I hate the distance between us.. I really wish I could burst out in tears infront of you and just hug you instead, but I can't.
It's been such a long time since I hug someone that I can't even remember it, maybe I never really hugged anyone. I'm such a failure in life that I want to be better in every possible way. This life right now is alot to handle. Although you haven't been giving me any stress but I have always hope that I could achieve something and make you happy. Sorry that I may not be perfect but I'll try to be the best that I could. Maybe I never started treating studies important, and I don't even like them. But somehow deep inside me wants to score well but in the end I still end up sitting around doing nothing. I guess I just need to constantly remind myself to pay attention in class and doing what I'm supposed to do instead to wasting my time on something which won't contribute to my future. I guess I should stop here. Mum, I know that you are not be able to see this but I just feel like typing this out.. Maybe just maybe, one day I'll send this to you.