As much as I hate to say but yes, my friends are really important to me as well. I don't know why but as for them I want to connect with them everyday, want to be constantly reminded of where I stand, want to know that I'm like a real sister to them and know that i'm not being taken for granted. I guess the fact is that I'm just afraid they'd just leave my life without a word because they can and then we'll have nothing to do with each other anymore, just like strangers. I wish I wouldn't make any mistakes again and end up being the one who's getting hurt in the end. Putting people as priority and ended up being treated as someone they could easily replace and live without. Sometimes it's not that I'm shy to make friends, It's just that I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll be abandoned again and I'm also afraid that I won't be appreciated and they don't like me. I wonder why my life's so messed up in the first place but in the end realizing that I'm the one who let everything happen. I'm the one who gave them the choice to leave or stay in my life. If you hold them too tight, you'll lose them. If you let them loose, you'll lose them as well. Why must reality be so hard to handle but we'll all have to accept? Hais, I'm tired. It's time for me to sleep and it's way past bedtime. Have wonderful sweet dreams people, may your dreams come true one day.