Dear, I wanted you a much as I wanted to be in a Fairy-tale. But it's just impossible, isn't it? That day, I didn't mean to turn you down. But you brought hurt to me too. I never wanted to revenge and I don't bear grudges. I didn't mean to turn you down. Let's not chat in the future, though I loved the times we chatted and text-ed, I always smile like an idiot receiving you texts and calls. Though we don't have much memories together, remember that there's this silly girl who loved you a lot. You'll find a better girl.. Did you know you're the first guy I started loving? You're in fact for now, the only one. ♥
I've learn't a valuable lesson through 12/2010. Does age gap really matters? People who are plain bored started hurting people without knowing? The glances people give? Life without any support? Nobody will understand this pain I went through. I carried on living just because I don't want to disappoint those who can't even have the right to choose to live on. If one day, I just broke down. Sorry guys, I shouldn't have been born-ed. Maybe one of you can take over me? I'm tired of living this life. This kind of life isn't suitable for people like me. Only those who find friends, pretty or popular. I'm neither one of them. Many things happened recently. I realize many things, including people all around.
Parents only tend to think that, oh she is younger she needs more care and love. Just because the older gets to be loved when the younger one isn't born doesn't mean that they don't need love. Doesn't mean that the the parents need to love the younger more to fill that love they gave the older one before the younger one is born-ed. Because at the end, the older one is going to die before the younger one dies. So I don't think there's any need to give the younger one more love. It's idiotic that whenever the younger one cries, the older one takes up all the blame when sometimes it isn't their fault. HAHAH. I just know the reason behind why I treat my sister like shit. She takes things without asking and started using, laugh at people's misfortune, annoying, noisy, dirty and likes to give a stupid face which is very annoying and you'd feel like hitting her face. I know everyone has weaknesses, but I can't tolerate her weaknesses. I know my weaknesses, but I'm not as bad as her? or maybe I am? Ohkay for that I don't know. If a person come around and tell me all my weaknesses, I may try to reduce those which I think is seriously annoying.
I guess this is going to be my longest record! :B I've filled this post with my heart. But my heart only willing to share this much. Lets continue this post with what happened these 2 days!
Sept 4, rotted at home the whole day. At night, received a call to go out. But I turned down. I didn't sleep the whole night. Sept 5, had a nap from like 5am to 6am. Went to burn things, came back and straight away sleep like a pig! ♥ Woke up, went to buy dinner for family and headed out awhile. I guess I'm starting to enjoy life alone. I'm not used to life with someone there anymore. I realize I will naturally push people away from me just to protect myself from getting hurt. Alright, it's getting late now. Nights! ♥